Archive for July, 2010

Reason #3 – Remember the Beauty of the Broken Vase.

When you break a vase,you gather all the pieces together and glue them back in place like a puzzle. But as soon as you pour water into the vase, it will start leaking. A broken relationship is just like a broken vase.

Reason #4 – Your relationship was not a waste. You were in training, but didn’t know that at the time.

Just as we learn from every person in our life, we also learn something from every event that transpires. Life’s lessons are taught to us every day. We may not recognize what we are learning at that particular moment and time, but make no mistake about it: We are always learning.

When you go to a restaurant and a waiter brings your steak in a skillet, and tells you not to touch the plate because it’s hot, you touch it anyway and burn your finger and scream, “That IS hot!” Why did you touch it after you were told not to? There could be several reasons. Maybe you didn’t believe him. Maybe you wanted to see just how hot it really was. The point is this – you learned something from the experience.

The expression EVERYTHING THAT DOESN’T KILL US MAKES US STRONGER is true.

Accept the fact that the time you spent in the relationship that ended abruptly taught you more things than you can ever imagine about your man in particular, men in general, and about the type of woman you really are.

You will never forget that look on his face and the words he spoke that made you cry. You will never let any man treat you the same way again because you have learned about who you are from the relationship that you just had.

The entire time you were with him, you thought you had found a boyfriend, but what you really found was a treadmill for your soul. He was exercise equipment and nothing more. Now that he is gone and it is over between two of you, you can look back on this episode as having been a wonderful training lesson to prepare you for your ONE TRUE LOVE, who you have not yet met. Your soul will be better prepared next time. All the tears you cried over him were a down payment on the longer lasting and loving relationship that you deserve.

Remember, YOUR HEART IS AS BROKEN AS YOU LET IT BE!

Have you ever thought about what EXACTLY “Mending a Broken Heart” means?

It’s very simpe. Think about what healing a broken leg means. Does it mean you can run again, wear beautiful hills, and have pedi with flowers? You don’t have to take painkilles, use a walker, and feel bad. You are almost there. This would be a RESULT of healing your broken leg. What would the processe? Well, to visit the doctor, place a cast, go through a healing rotine, and then start walking…slow, then faster, and only then run, dance in hills, and and wear the most seductive toe designs.

The same principles apply to mending a broken heart. Do you want to feel happy, enjoy every minute of your life, forget about a painful experience, meet your true love, and live happily ever after? Those are RESULTS. But in order to get your results, you have to go through the PROCESS of Mending a Broken Heart.

What needs to be done in order to Mend a Broken Heart?

• 1) You have to realize that you REALLY want to mend your broken heart. Do not smile sarcastically – I know people who just enjoy swimming in their misery because they get tons of attention this way. Their frends and family suddenly call them more often, bring them gifts, take them out, etc. As a result, a  heart-broken person suddenly gets showered with attention and even though she says that she “wants to get over it”, subconciosly she does everything to stay where she is.

• 2) You have to accept the fact that healing your broken heart is a process. It won’t happen overnight and will require your own work. You can have all the guidance in the world, but you have to do your work yourself. It’s like losing weight. You have to hire a personal trainer and a nutritionist, but YOU are the one who has to go on a diet and exercise.

• 3) You have to stop listening to “experts” who suggests that giving yourself a little time to cry, miss your ex, and eat comfort food for a while is ok. They use this trick to keep your attention because it will make you feel not guilty as well as give you an extra excuse to keep waisting your time.

• 4) You have to stop discussing your break up with friends and family because it brings you back to negative mood.

• 5) You have to stop doing everything that makes you think about your former love; watch love movies, listen to romantic music etc. You should figure out what brings you positive emotions and stick to this. If it’s comedy movies – watch them every day.

• 6) And the most important thing you have to understand is like attracts like – in order for you to get positive events in your life you have to find positive things in EVERYTHING that is going on in your life as well as in EVERYBODY

who surrounds you. You have to accept the world the way it is and stop willing to change it.

I went through series of break ups till I figured out the formula that really works but the most significant case of broken heart took about 3 years to heal. Now two weeks is enough to move forward and accept the situation as a great experience. Remember, the more positive you will be, the better surprises life will bring to you. And guess what? The person who broke your heart is not your true love, he is just “training equipment” that you used in order to meet YOUR REAL TRUE LOVE.

• Woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one. (Mae West)

• No man is worth your tears, and when you find the man who is, he’ll never make you cry. (Anonymous )

• Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. (Albert Einstein)

• The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else. (Anonymous )

• If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be. (Anonymous

• Pleasure of love lasts but a moment, Pain of love lasts a lifetime. (Better Davis)

• Don’t let someone become your everything, because when they’re gone you have nothing! (Kenya Mitchell)

• I dont know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. (Chloe Woodward)

• Love is like a war : Easy to begin Hard to end! (ancient proverbs)

• BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO HAVE NEVER LOVED AT ALL (Hemmingway)

• Love is blind — marriage is the eye-opener. (Pauline Thomason)

• If a relationship is to evolve, it must go through a series of endings. (Lisa Moiyama)

There are two view points on how to break up: from the person who initiates the break up and from the person who is dumped. Doesn’t matter which side you were…because a break up is…Great!

Reasons why a Break Up is a good thing:

1) Do you like traveling? Who doesn’t? You can see your break up as an opportunity to travel in your life – you’ll see new people, new opportunities, and new places. If your relationships are broken – look at them as a dirty, neglected house you would like to renovate.

2) Even if you are the most gorgeous woman at the world – there is always field for improvement. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who loves herself. The break up period is the best time to fall in love with yourself and enjoy your freedom.

If the break up is HIS idea

1) Break up like a Lady – do not raise your voice, cry, pull out your gun, or throw your favorite china at him – he doesn’t deserve it.

2) Just look at him, give the best Hollywood smile you can imagine and say “Thank you, it’s a great idea, I was thinking the same”.

3) Then  Leave with the happiest look at your face.

4) I DO NOT!!! suggest to cry, drink, eat all your ice cream and chocolate, send press release to all friends, family members, etc. You can do some of that but very quickly – you will have better things to do shortly.

5) Commit to not answering his calls, emails, etc. for one month (if you commit for more – you’ll fail, I’ll explain to you later why it’s important)

If the break up is YOUR idea:

1) Do not break up with him via text message or email – if you had any sort of relationship, then he deserves at least a phone call.

2) Do not go into long explanations and give multiple reasons – just say “unfortunately, at this stage of my life I cannot be your girlfriend.”

3) Do not feel guilty – you have only one life and can spend it the way you want.

4) Do not tell him “let’s be friends” because he will “agree” with a hidden thought that you’ll come back.

5) Do not agree on “good bye sex.”

Reason #2 – Don’t look for the future in your past, the future is in the future.

I know exactly how it feels: that your future is empty and meaningless without Him (Her). Do all of the following things, and it will make your life better:

Convince yourself that you are on a strict diet and think of him (her) as a craving.

If you are like most people, then you know that the first days of a diet are always the most difficult because we desperately crave something we should not have – like ice cream, chocolate or French fries. But if we stay strong for a few days, we can get used to living without those desperate cravings of ours. The latest studies prove that the cravings we have in our minds last for only five minutes, so if we can stay strong and get over those cravings, they will go away.

If you think of him (her) as a “craving” and remember that all cravings disappear after just 5 minutes of will power, you will survive and be a stronger person for it.

Like every diet, sometimes it gets too hard dealing with your cravings. So when your craving for him becomes overwhelming just promise yourself that in six months you will allow yourself a little piece of HIM (HER) – what I mean is that all you need to satisfy this deep rooted craving is a phone call to hear his (her) voice live or on his answering machine. You will feel so much better for these two reasons:

1) You CAN handle your cravings- Congratulations! This is a tremendous accomplishment in your life. You are on your way to recovery.

2) By the time six months has rolled around and you make that phone call, you might not even need him anymore. You might have lost ten pounds and look great, you might have a new job, you might have met a new TRUE LOVE.

He (she) is the one who has lost YOU. It is not the other way around!

Every life is precious. Every person has good inside of them. Every person wants to be liked, and every person not only wants to be loved, but NEEDS LOVE.

Remember that yesterday is gone and that he (she) is part of the past. You know how much you loved him (her), you remember all those things you did for him (her) and how much it hurt to know that he (she) walked out on you and may already be with somebody else.

You are a beautiful person even if you have made some mistakes, and have been a poor judge of character. We are only human.

As much as you tend to look up for the article “how to get your ex back”, I suggest sticking with the “get over your ex” routine!

I know one man who was the most mind twisted player I’ve ever met. Nobody thought that he would ever have a family (or even a long term girlfriend). Recently he got married.

I was very curious and called him asking him, “How?” His answer surprised me a lot…”Dating is like gambling; as soon as you start losing, just get up and leave the table and as soon as you hit jackpot, you’ll hear the sound and get all money. I hit a jackpot, my wife is the one. I wasn’t playing, I was just actively looking.” “Is she one of the multiple girls you went out with?” I asked him. “No, men don’t really like to go back…unless it’s for sex,” he answered with a smile.

If you call a man “my ex” it means that that relationship is over. It means it just didn’t work out. You can read all the “how to get a  man” books, lose 20 pounds, get a “Hollywood smile”,  learn Thai massage, belly dancing, Italian cooking and…it won’t work even if you‘ll have another chance with the same man. Don’t get me wrong, you really can get your ex back (it’s possible, it’s doable but it is not worth the efforts because if something didn’t work out once, it won’t work out again).

Here is a checklist of things that needs to be done in order to GET OVER YOUR EX:

1) Switch your focus from him to yourself. Trust me if he deserved your attention, you deserve it even more. Promise yourself to focus on yourself for one month. I’m not talking about becoming selfish. I suggest you pay yourself the attention that you haven’t had since you met your former “prince charming.”

2) List all the areas of your life on a piece of paper (except your private life): appearance, work, social life, personal interests, family, friends, etc. Decide what needs improvement

3) Create a tight schedule for one month for all activities that had been missing and stick to it. Make yourself absolutely busy.

4) Do not go on dates with any man for at least for 30 days. Yes, not casual dates, booty calls with other exes, no one night desperate stands. Nothing (there is an explanation in my book of why you should avoid it).

5) Do not communicate with your ex for 30 days (even if he calls you and says that he realized all his mistakes and waiting for you on his knee with a ring).

Being attached to your ex is completely in your head and in your soul. You have to save all your valuable energy that you send in his direction, refocus, and do something productive and good for yourself.

If you think realistically when you think about your ex, you just marinade your past feelings that felt good before. This condition is dangerous for you because it’s addictive and you don’t want to be stuck in this for a long period of time.

Thinking of your ex won’t make you feel positive because the relationship is over and you can’t afford to feel negative. Why? Again, as I write in each and every article, because like attracts like and you need to bring positive people and events back into your life.

So follow the directions on the way to a new, happy, and exciting life. Do you want to have true love? Do you want someone really great and right for you to tell you the magical words “I love you, babe?” If so then you have to live for a while being that “babe.” Trust me, change your feelings and the situation will turn around as soon as you get over ex!

• Women wish to be loved not because they are pretty, or good, or well bred, or graceful, or intelligent, but because they are themselves. – Henri Frederic Amiel

• Just because somebody doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. – Unknown

• True love never dies, even if you have found a new love, the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life. Unknown

• Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Elizabeth Browning

• Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4 Bible

1) When you say “I love you, but I’m not in love” and you actually mean “I don’t want to hurt you, but if I could wake up tomorrow and instead of you see somebody who would make my heart jump”

2) When you don’t care if your legs are shaved, nails are done and roots are colored before your date.

3) When you envy your single girlfriend (friend) when she/ he is getting ready for the “girls/ boys night out”

4) When while telling your best friend about yesterday’s “romantic dinner” you spent 98% of the time describing the menu.

5) When sex can be easily substituted with gym workout (and especially with a cute instructor)

6) When 8 times out of 10 you let the voice mail to pick up

7) When you sit with him/her, imagine that him/her, you and your mutual baby sits with you and you feel claustrophobic and depressed.

8) When his snoring doesn’t’ sound “cute” anymore.

9) When you prefer an earthquake over meeting his/her family

10) When his/her touches, kisses and hugs prevent you from enjoying the movie

Then this is the right time for Ending Relationships

- A MATURE WOMAN is more honest. She’ll call you an idiot and jerk if you are the one…She is not scared to lose you as young woman is.

- A MATURE WOMAN can’t get pregnant unexpectedly and decide that one of two guys has to marry her immediately. If mature woman get pregnant, you’ll be the last one who’ll find out about it!

- A MATURE WOMAN can use red lipstick in the morning without looking like she just ate cherries

- A MATURE WOMAN will be expensive. Young woman can cost you 3 martinis at the bar.

- A MATURE WOMAN runs faster because her shoes are more comfy. She learned to invest in quality accessories.

- A MATURE WOMAN would never suspect that you “use” her…In reality she is the one who uses you

- A MATURE WOMAN will just pick up the phone, call you and ask when you are available. Young woman will be waiting by the phone….

- A MATURE WOMAN will introduce you to her girlfriends. Young woman will hide you from them because they might have some thoughts about……stealing you

- A MATURE WOMAN always has a great collection of underwear…Young women wear underwear very rarely…this fact excludes the possibility of striptease.

- A MATURE WOMAN has a great intuition…You don’t have to tell her about your affair on the side, she already knows it for some reasons

A MATURE WOMANis experienced and understands that you can’t always perform in bed after 10th drink …Young woman needs a while to realize that fact

- A MATURE WOMAN will never tell you that you “stole her best years” because somebody else already did it before you.

• A man and his wife, now in their 60′s, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger…Whoosh…immediately he turned ninety!!!Gotta love that fairy

• Q: Why do little boys whine?A: They are practicing to be men.

• Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

• She told him, “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!”The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
  She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Ed has been missing since Friday…

• Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?A: Trustworthy.

• One day my housework-challenged boyfriend decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
  “It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
  He yelled back, “University of Oklahoma.”
  And they say blondes are dumb…

• A couple is lying in bed.
  The man says, “I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.”
  The woman replies, “I’ll miss you…”

• “It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”
  “Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.

• Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
  She said – That’s a good idea… you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.