Written by Lana ~ The first time I laid eyes on my ex, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. Although after thinking about it for a minute I realized that I haven’t really seen much of the world. I was also chubby and in the middle of a weird phase, so we didn’t hit it of right away. We did become good friends though, and that lasted for two years, during which I lost weight, grew and dyed my hair, and changed my personality quite a bit.
Then, on a normal night of pigging out and watching movies at his house, he kissed me. I could lie and say it was the best kiss in the world, but honestly, the first thing that popped into my head was: “Really? This is what I’ve been waiting for?” I felt nothing, but since I waited for that moment for years, I let myself keep doing it for the next couple of weeks until it consumed me.
After we started officially dating, I gave him my body, and thought we would be together forever. I never imagined my best friend would deceive me in any way, and when it happened the first time, I forgave him without even thinking about it. “It was just a kiss” he said. So I continued to let myself fall deeper.
We did everything together, and I really thought he needed me, until the first time he said “I just don’t feel like having a girlfriend right now.” This break up had me crying for weeks, and on the days I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I called him to hang out “as friends”. Of course to him it was a chance to have sex with me without dealing with commitment.
Finally I got the strength to stay away from him for a couple weeks and before I knew it he wanted me back; I took him back without giving it another thought. Throughout our three year relationship he broke up with me the same way over twenty times and every time, when he came back I gladly accepted him.
Probably because I didn’t think anyone would love me the way he did; I was wrong. Not only was I wrong about that, I was wrong about him, because when I finally got the courage to snoop through his text’s I found the answers I tried so hard to deny in my head.
Yes, he was texting other girls, including his ex girlfriend who he had slept with behind my back numerous times. I was so devastated and furious that I stormed out of his house and told him to never speak to me again. Not too long passed before he was at my door again; this time with flowers. They were so beautiful I had to take him back, but even pretty flowers couldn’t keep us together for long and subconsciously I never really forgave him.
After our third year of breaking up, making up, lying, cheating and pretending that we were okay I went on vacation. I only spent a week in Hawaii with one of my best friends but for some odd reason when I got back home I just didn’t love him anymore. He tried all his old tricks on me but they no longer lit up my heart, and I knew I had to move on.
Sometimes I got lonely and other times when he came to me crying I wanted to just hug him and tell him that everything is okay, and I love him too, but that was no longer true. It’s been years since my break up, and now it’s very hard to look back and understand why I spent so long crying when I could have been happy, but that’s just life I guess.
Any break up is hard but being dumped on New Year’s Eve is a tough and completely cruel experience. The email below is from a woman who had her heart broken on New Year’s Eve.
“I want to heal my broken heart as quickly as I can. How should I move on? I’ve been with my boyfriend for four years. He broke up with me on New Year’s Eve without any reason. I’ve treated him like a king and loved him more than I loved myself for the last four years. Even though sometimes he treated me like an animal, I always forgave him. Please, help me. I need some advice. What should I do about my hurt feelings?”
It is an amazing thing that you would like to heal your heart fast and reached out for help. Your email is very short and we don’t have much info to comment on, so we’ll try out best…
I am sure that you are a great person with a beautiful soul who deserves to be happy. Therefore, instead of being sad, you have to be happy that you got rid of your boyfriend. Yes, it’s very sad to be dumped on New Year’s Eve. However, New Year night is over, and there is a new, beautiful year ahead of you where you can meet your true love and build a real relationship where both of you will be happy.
Unfortunately, your letter was very short but we have lots of free information in our Broken Heart Section as well as the program “Broken Heart 911” that covers each and every aspect of break up from A to Z.
Just remember two things
1) Your heart is as broken as you let it be.
2) Nobody died from a broken heart.
If you think about how to break up with your girlfriend, congratulations! It means that you do not belong to the category of countless men who just mysteriously disappear and won’t return phone calls.
While you are coming up with a strategy on how to break up with your girlfriend, remember the main thing to avoid – GETTING YOUR GIRLFRIEND MAD. There is nothing more dangerous than leave an angry woman behind because you never know what she might be capable of. Even the sweetest and nicest girls might be nurturing bloody plans of psychological vendetta. Remember, women are very emotional creatures; they can love and hate with the same intensity. Therefore, you have to be extremely careful.
Word of caution for men: never underestimate your girlfriend even if you thing that she is blond and stupid. Some women play dumb for a year and let men dominate, however, they are as smart, sharp, and witty as you can’t even imagine.
I remember a girl, Angelina, who was absolutely breathtaking in her middle twenties. Each and every man would want to be with her and each and every woman was absolutely stunned and jealous at the same time. When she married her third husband, she pretended to be a quiet, smiley, sweet thing who totally admired the smarts and brains of her rich, but not that good looking husband. We are skipping the part that Angelina was brought up by a mother who was a university professor and graduated with her masters (she sweetly did not mention her degree to her new husband who was a self-made high school drop out).
One night, after having a couple of glasses of wine, Angelina let her image go. She quoted huge piece of classic literature for more than five minutes. Everyone was speechless. Her husband was shocked. For some reason, instead of being proud of her, he felt threatened, humiliated, and betrayed. He didn’t speak to her for a couple of weeks. She learned her lesson.
There are two different paths you can go when you think about how to break up with your girlfriend.
How to break up with your girlfriend – The Traditional Way
How to break up with your girlfriend – The Non Traditional Way
Let’s assume that you are not man enough to be honest with your girlfriend. No judgment here;let’s come up with a strategy.
The non traditional way of breaking up is not about being a mean person; it’s about delivering everything wrong and doing everything to turn your girlfriend off and make her to leave. This is not the way real men behave. However, this is the way it works.
Nancy is a great, sweet, good looking girl with a successful career. She has spent years working on herself in order to become better in everything…as a person, as a professional, as a daughter, as a sister… She is in her early thirties and decided that now is the time of her life to look her best.
So Nancy has stuck with the healthiest lifestyle and lost 20 pounds. From a good looking girl, she turned into a beautiful, sophisticated lady.
Let me tell you about her private life. For the last two years she has been in on and off relationships with a “Hollywood type” guy who is dark, tall, and handsome as well as selfish, arrogant, and moody. He didn’t want to commit (just to “have fun”) and Nancy left him a while ago.
After I walked her through broken heart healing, she became happy and ready to meet her new love.
Two months ago (after she healed her broken heart and got an exciting new job), Nancy visited one sport event and met a sport celebrity who was totally into her. He told her words she dreamed to hear and made promises that each girl can’t resist.
Her Hollywood Friend “woke up” at the same time. He started to pursue her and insist on a real, exclusive relationship. Nancy went out with him a few times, but she realized that her feelings were gone!
Her new celebrity friend called her every day and sent many text messages every day for a month. Then, he suddenly stopped calling. She waited for a couple weeks and then decided that everything happens for a reason.
Her Hollywood friend stopped by while Nancy was having dinner with her sister. As soon as he turned the TV on, guess what happen? The first thing Nancy saw was her celebrity…and the sister innocently mentioned that they both are his friends.
Hollywood Prince Charming turned into a jealous, selfish monster the same second. To make a long story short, Nancy showed him the door in 30 seconds.
“Why did you do this?,” her sister asked
“It’s better to have a dream Celebrity in the TV then a disrespectful monster in your house,” Nancy answered. She didn’t let negative emotions into her heart. She smiled.
The celebrity called next day. They made plans to meet.
Respect yourself, ladies and your prince will show up. Let’s make your life a fairy tale.
After a trip we took together, he started to feel distant in the beginning, but then the situation became worse. After I asked him if he has any feelings for me, he said that he definitely has some feelings, but he can’t say that he loves me the same way I love him. At all my “what happened” questions, his answer was “nothing”. I really wanted our relationship be as special as the beginning, but the situation became worse and worse.
On April 11th we had sex and then afterwards I asked him where our relationship is going, and he told me that he doesn’t want to commit. All he wanted was “friends with benefits”. I was in panic and felt terrible. He suggested for me to break up with him, but I told him that I need to think everything over. So we talked about things over and over, but our conversation went in the same direction; that now he was the one who needs to think. When he was leaving I asked him how long I should wait for his respond. “Three days” he told me.
All following days were filled with panic and fear…he took…nine days.
We went to the movies, he was distant, then I called him but he was even colder. Then I got sick and decided that if he wants to be with me, he needs to show his interest. He called me the next day, called me “honey and sweetie”, and got me more confused. The next day my friends insisted for me to call and he treated me like I don’t even exist. I decided to break up with him but my friends insisted for me to be patient and calm down.
Then he called me and asked if we could talk so we met up. He asked what I think about our relationship and I said that I’m the one who is waiting for the answer. He said that he wants to break up. Bottom line was that I’m a very special person, but he doesn’t want to hurt me and he does not know what happened. The conversation was long, but he asked if I think we still can see each other.
He told me that I stopped him from many bad habits (like drinking) but I ended up running out of his place in tears. I thought that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but as soon as I got home I cancelled our relationship on Facebook and changed my profile. I felt that if I disappear from his life now, maybe we can be back in the future. Later on I noticed that he did the same to his Facebook – deleted our pictures and staff. I still don’t understand “what I could’ve possible done.”