Dating

• “…once you get that down, you’ll have to understand a few essential truths: men are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make”.

• “He’s not thinking about settling down, having children, or building a home with anyone until he’s got all three of those things in sync. I’m not saying that he has had to have made it, but at least he has to be on track to making it.

• “But for us men? It’s everything. After we’ve attained that, it’s critical that we can show off what we get for being number one. We have to be able to flaunt it, and women have to be able to see it – otherwise, what’s the use of being number one?”

• “Because in his world, he’s being judged by other men, based on who he is, what he does, and how much he makes. That affects his mood. If you know he’s not where he wants to be or not on track for being where he wants to be, then his mood swings at the house will make more sense to you.”

• “So if this is on his mind, and he hasn’t lined up the who he is, the what he does, and the how much he makes in the way that he sees fit, he can’t possibly be to you what he wants to be. Which means that you can’t really have the man you want. He can’t sit around talking with you, or dream about marriage and family, if his mind is on how to make money, how to get a better position, how to be the kind of man he needs to be for you.”

• “The way you can help him get there is to help him focus on his dream, see the vision, and implement his plan”

• “That’s a woman’s love – it stands the test of time, logic, and all circumstance. And this is exactly how you all expect us men to love you in return. Ask any woman what kind of love she wants from a man, and it will sound something like this: I want him to be humble and smart, fun and romantic, sensitive and gentle, and, above all, supportive. I want him to look in my eyes and tell me I’m beautiful and that I complete him. I want a man who is vulnerable enough to cry when he is hurting, who will introduce me to his mother with a smile on his face, who loves children and animals, and who is willing to change diapers and wash dishes and do it all without me having to ask. And if he has a nice body and lot of money and expensive shoes without scuffs, and would be great, too. Amen. Well, I’[m here to tell you that expecting that kind of love – that perfection from a man is unrealistic. That’s right, I said it- it’s not gonna happen, no way, no how. Because a man’s love isn’t like a woman’s love. Don’t get it confused, now- I’m not saying that we’re not capable of loving. I’m just saying that a man’s love is different – much more simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come by.”
• “His love is still love, though. It’s just different from the love that women give and , in a lot of cases, want.”
• “If your man loves you, he’s willing to tell anybody and everybody, “Look, man, this is my woman” or “this is my girl”, “my baby’s mama”, or “my lady”. In other words, you will have a title – an official one that far extends beyond “this is my friend” or “this is_______(insert your name here)”. That’s because a man who has placed you in the most special part of his heart – the man who truly has feelings for you – will give you a title. That title is his way of letting everyone within the sound of his voice know that he’s proud of being with you, and that he has plans for you.”
• “If he introduces you as his “friend”, or by your name, have no doubt that’s all you are. He doesn’t think any more of you than that. In your heart of hearts, ladies, you all know this.”
• “So, if you’ve been dating a guy for at least ninety days and you’ve never met his mother, you don’t go to church together, you haven’t been around his family or his friends, and he took you to a networking/job/social function and introduced you by your name, then you are not in his plans – he doesn’t see you in his future. But the minute he assigns a title – the moment he lays claim to you in front of people who mean something to him in his life, whether it’s his boy, his sister, or his boss – that’s the minute you know your man is making a statement”.
• “If a man is in a position of being questioned about whether he’s able to provide, financially and otherwise, for the ones he loves, you might as well drop-kick his ego into an early grave. The more he can provide for his woman and his kids, the bigger and more alive he feels. Sounds simplistic, but that is the reality”.
• “And a man who truly loves you would never make you ask for money for necessities – he would make sure that you need and mostly want for nothing, because every pat on the back he gets for bringing more money into the house, every kiss he gets for handling over cash for school clothes and supplies and toys, every bit of appreciation he gets for keeping the lights and cable on, boosts his prowess as a man. That’s why if he’s a real man, he will always put buying something for himself far below his responsibility to provide for his family. His need for another set of golf clubs or expensive shoes or a fancy car or anything else men like to spend their money on will pale in comparison to providing for loved ones, because those golf clubs can’t make him square his shoulders the way true appreciation from a woman can. Consequently, everything he does is going to be about trying to make sure the woman he loves has what she needs”.
• “And if a man can’t provide, then he doesn’t feel like a man, so he flees to escape the horrible feelings of inadequacy or he’s going to bury those feelings in drugs and alcohol.”
• “Of course, some men simply refuse to share the money in their pockets with their women. AS some rap songs and hip-hop magazines tell you, these men feel they’re being “played” if they provide anything of monetary value to the opposite sex. Some men even label any and every woman who expects her intended to provide for her the very handy, decisively ugly phrase “gold digger”.
• “I’m here to tell you, though, ladies, that the term “gold digger” is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have all of our money and still get everything we want from you without u asking for or expecting this very basic, instinctual responsibility that men all over the world are obligated to assume and embrace”.
• “Know this: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time”
• “When a man truly loves you, anybody who says, does, suggests, or even thinks about doing something offensive to you stands the risk of being obliterated. Your man will destroy anything and everything in his path to make sure that whoever disrespected you pays for it. This is his nature”.

Written by Viktoria

Stood up means that your date not only did not show up, but also did not bother to explain why it happened. Of course, there were no apologies either. The false promises to go somewhere or do something together are considered stood up as well. We are not talking about waiting for a person at the time he was supposed to pick you up and his phone was off.

Stood up means a no show at the promised and scheduled time without any explanations.

Stood up is the first step towards your broken heart!

Now, let’s make it crystal clear.

If a man gets stood up by a woman there can only be three reasons:

1) Something terrible happened – you should call her and ask what happened.

2) The woman is absolutely not interested in this man and does not care to the level that she won’t communicate with him at all. If a woman is not interested, there is nothing you can do except either step back, wait and pray, or find another woman.

3) The woman has been hurt by this man and this is her little (or not so little) revenge plan. If a woman is hurt or upset, then you really need to come up with a strategy for her forgiveness, but that’s a separate topic.

If a woman gets stood up by a man, there might be too many reasons, but the main two would be:

1) Disrespect – he simply does not care enough to call and explain.

2) Fear – he knows that he is wrong, but he does not want to go through the explanation process, so he develops an “ostrich attitude”, putting his head into the sand and pretending that he cannot be seen.

What is the solution? The solution is simple. Are you familiar with the “done once” rule? All people are creatures of habits. If someone did something once, then he will do it again.

Therefore, if a man disrespected you once, then he will do it again.

You are the one who has to choose between the pleasure of spending time with this man under his conditions or respecting yourself and not letting anybody treat you like a doormat.

I advise you to listen to him once and if he will do it again, then you need to move on unless you are fine with being stood up on weekly basis. If your man does the same disrespectful things to you over and over again, then he is the wrong man for you. There are lots of available men and all it takes is to just find one.

If you believe that you will be able to change your man, then I have news for you. The only age when you can change a man is when he is in diapers.

The way your man behaves is his choice and there is nothing you can to change his choice. The only thing you can do is make your own choice that will be good for you. Moving forward with your life will be the best possible choice because you have only one life which is absolutely precious. You deserve to be happy each and every moment of your life.

Being stood up is another form of experience that people get. There is no such a thing as bad experience. According to a Chinese proverb, bad experience is an opportunity in working clothes.

And when you meet your Mr. Right-For-You, you will recognize him immediately because he won’t make you feel sad or worried.

Move on and let Mr. False Promise/No Show worry and wonder where you are now. There will be other women in his life to be stood up. If you are a lady with self respect and self confidence, you won’t join them.

Men often take women’s caring, sweetness, and kindness for a weakness…big mistake!

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Contributed by Richard Childs

Facebook has fouled the dating world a whole lot. You have to ask a lot of questions when you are reading someone’s profile: Is this information a true representation of the person or an online avatar of what makes them look the best?  The anonymity of the internet has given people the courage to write anything. Self doubt coupled with the freedom to develop an online avatar of themselves has caused many an uncomfortable first date. Confidence in yourself and being real about yourself online is a major component of being successful in general. Being overly revealing is also a bain to your success. “Does everyone really need to know this factoid?” is a heavy question that you need to ask when making a profile.

Humans are inquisitive by nature. Facebook is like stalker heroine. I find grand irony in the fact that Zuckerberg ended up having a horribly invasive stalker in his life. With all good things comes a down side. The reconnecting with old friends, family, and former coworkers is great and its effect on freedom to seek information in repressive regimes has propagated freedom all over the globe.  Despite all the relationships that it has destroyed,  all the Facebook bullying, drunken booty calls, and breakfast menu updates, the freedom it has allowed and the democracy it has promoted is phenomenal.

With all of this said, I can easily assume that Facebook is most likely one of the leading factors in fractured relationships (and broken heart reason). Facebook has so many uses: self promotion, business promotion, informed living, true relationship building, and faux importance building. If you are interested in a person or in the early stages of dating, then you need to stay off their page or limit the depth of which you are digging, especially if they are using their page for business or personal promotion. You will be driven insane with assumptions regarding why this person is contacting them or whose status they have liked. ‘Age: number of friends’ ratio is important. If they are 18-25:500-700 friends are normal, and for their age group they are adept at Facebook and grew up with social networking. Stalking and liking most of their statuses is not as faux pa. If they are 25-35:200-400 friends can be normal but Facebook stalking is less accepted. 35-40:150-250 is normal and Facebook stalking may turn them off quickly. This is the ‘but’ and it’s a big one.  If you see a person that exceeds these numbers and has no interest in self promotion of services, ideals, products, or business then they may be friend collectors and sorting through all of their contacts will drive you battier than trying to decipher the meanings of the symbolism in the TV series “Lost” or trying to decipher the drunken text of your philosophy student friend. Get to know the person, and then their profile will make more sense, if any at all.

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Contributed by Richard Childs Entertainer

Our world has changed and we have changed how we seek love and how we define love itself.  Everything has a metamorphosis and has to evolve to be relevant.  Dating did not even exist a couple centuries ago.  Courtship was the most prevalent form of finding a mate.  Everyone was vetted by the family and there was little contact while separate from a chaperone.  Some may say that this is impossible in today’s modern dating climate.  I actually know someone who went through the courtship ritual and married not too long ago.   Arranged marriages still happen in certain countries such India. India’s approach to matchmaking is totally different than mostly any other place.  Professional Indian women approach dating as if they are looking for business partner, they see the early stages of finding a date from a purely intellectual perspective.  They look over resumes of the men that they are interested and evaluate them for genetics, earning potential and other criteria.

Attraction has many different levels:  physical, chemical, emotional, genetic, fiscal, and intellectual.  The only difference for most people is how they prioritize these elements.  Everyone is different, and thus the complexity of finding a mate.  The Indian approach varies but could be weighted in this order: Intellectual, fiscal, genetic, physical, chemical, and then emotional.  This is based on culture, and although many are appalled that someone would consider this manner of mate selection. This is their manner and it in no way effects you unless you apart of the process.  We must respect this.

Individualism is the unique trait that makes mankind an amalgam of eclectic personalities.  You have to understand this to know that stereotypes are a starter point but not the rule.   This is where the algorithm of the dating sites can go wrong.  A participant in internet dating is mainly intellectual exercise.  This is why the success rate of successful coupling for internet sites is so low.  The lack of personal interaction makes it harder for us to find our true mate.  Interpersonal chemistry is the key point to a successful relationship.  Many things in history looked good on paper but when put into practice they failed miserably; the Hindenburg, the titanic, or Sarah Palin’s attempt to garner votes from the African American vote through learning ebonics.  On the other hand many things that no one thought would work, were astronomical success.  Just because someone misrepresented themselves on their profile to cover what they thought was their shortcomings, doesn’t mean that you won’t like the actual person.   Low self esteem doesn’t mean that this person doesn’t have great potential.  Many people just need someone to believe in them, so that they can achieve their true potential.

Idealism is one of the major inhibitors for a person’s dating success.  Many people spend so much mental energy sculpting what they think is their ideal mate.   This exercise is easy to get caught up in and detrimental to finding a mate.  What we think we want and what we need can be totally different.  This is aggravated when you are asked all those questions on those dating sites.   Depending on your state of mind and your past experience with those issues; can change how we answer.   A bad experience with a person that holds the traits or habits will make you think that even though you may have liked those things before, you no longer do because of your past experience.   This is when you have to do some true soul searching to decide if you dislike the action or the person that soured you to this.  This is when our weighting of stereotypes can shut you off from an entire segment of people. Example:  I dated a lawyer and they were self absorbed, needy, was a cheater and an abuser. When you meet the next lawyer who you might be attracted to, then your past experience hampers this possible relationship.

Expectations are heavy in new relationships.  Men and women think differently and desire some of the same things but also function differently.  Shared interests are a tad overrated.  This is another place that algorithmic dating sites fail.   If you had plugged my parents into one of the modern dating websites, the chances would have been better to win the lottery than them to be paired together.  They had very few shared interests other than each other.  I saw my father joyfully do things with my mother that he would have never choose to do on his own because he wanted to do things with her.   Every action my father ever did in his life was to benefit her and thus benefit their coupling.  She stood by and cared for him through a six year battle with cancer, and they had over thirty years of happiness together.   They were even a result of a blind date orchestrated by my mother’s aunt.

The information age has so many on overload and knowing to much about the person or knowing to much of what a person thinks you need to know can be bad for dating.  Sharing interests is important on some level of chemistry, but not the defining marker of compatibility.  It is easy to assume that since someone only watches reality shows, and reads frivolous novels that they have a lower intellect.  However do you consider that their job is overly intellectual, and on some level boring so they escape into to other’s drama and need to power down the thinker and just enjoy watching odd people acting stupid.  It is also easy to assume that since all their shows are intellectual and all their books are deep and provocative, but again people have the choose to paint themselves as they please.   They may say that they love the “Big Bang Theory”, and their intellect could be geographically closer to “The Jersey Shores”.

If you put a lot of weight on their interest then when you talk to them in person, casually bring up your shared interests.  Passion will arise if they really like them.  They will have interesting stories and fun factoids.   So many have caught people in profile pimping, when you casually bring up a shared interest and they have no real interest.   Again not a reason to write them off get to know the person because many people have passion paranoia:  “if she knows I have a enormous collections of gnomes then she will never like me, but if I don’t tell her then she will not get me one for my birthday” or “If he knows that I like ‘clown on midget’ porn, he will think I am a nut…I wonder if he has likes oversized shoes”.  Although these are extremely funny examples, still substitute your fetish qualm or oddity and see if they are really a deal breaker or a nuance that makes you different but not weird.   When you have a perceived weirdosity then play a drunken game of truth or dare and go with it.

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Another time…there is always another time but all people understand that in reality there might not be another time. You and him might have as many reasons to see each other as you do to not see each other. You never know; you might miss one opportunity and life will give you another opportunity at the time you were supposed to be with this person. However, everything happens for the best and for a reason

“There is always another time” in a way is a synonym of “monkey see, monkey do.”

12 Reasons for Women to See Men Another Time

1. If a man is not clear about whether he wants to see you or not and can’t choose between you and watching a game, boys night out, a poker game, visiting his mother, etc., then it’s not the right time yet.

2. If a man says “I’ll call you” and he actually means “anytime before I die”, let other women to see this man.  Remember, a call is an action, not a condition.

3. If a man wants you to be exclusive with him, but he is not sure if he is going to be exclusive with you, then perhaps you need to see him another time, unless you would like to join his harem. I hope you are aware that sleeping with a man in a way means sleeping with his women and their other men.

4. If a man is “busy” every weekend, and the only time he has is on weekdays, then you might need to see him another time…next year perhaps? Unless it’s casual sex or booty calls, dating a special person is about spending at least one of your weekend evenings together

5. If a man does not return your calls within one or two days, it’s better to see him another time.

6. If a man practices hibernation or disappearing acts (especially after hot sex), then you should definitely see him another time – when his hibernation is permanently over.

7. If a man does not acknowledge Valentine’s Day, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, and your birthday with flowers and gifts, then it’s better to meet another time and preferably with another man. You can let go of Halloween and the 4^th of July, but hello, Valentine’s Day is a must!

8. If you have too many questions about your man, but can’t even get some answers – there is always another time

9. If the man has a couple thousand Facebook “friends” who wear lingerie in their profile picture and a significant amount of them post on his wall about how delighted they would be to see him soon, perhaps you need to let them do it and…see man another time.

10. If a man thinks that a relationship equals having sex when he is available or has no idea what a relationship is and what it’s for, then you might need to see him another time.

11. If a man is on a date with you, but suddenly starts paying attention to another woman, it’s cool…but not with you…so you might need to see him another time.

12. IF A MAN HAS A DESIRE TO SEE YOU, HE’LL FIND LOTS OF OPPORTUNITIES; IF HE HAS NO DESIRE TO SEE YOU, HE’LL FIND TONS OF REASONS.   THEREFORE, IF HE HAS NO DESIRE TO SEE YOU, THEN YOU MIGHT NEED TO SEE HIM ANOTHER TIME!

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Sherry Argov Quotes

• Once a man begins to lose respect for a woman because she is willing to subtly devalue herself, he will also lose the desire to get closer to her.

• There are two types of sexy. The woman who is obviously trying to be sexy. Then there is the woman who isn’t trying to be sexy – she just is. Most guys find the second one to be much sexier.

• What would happen if you let him know from day one that you re willing to bend over backward? He’d think you’re desperate, and he’d want to see just how far you’d be willing to bend. It’s human nature.

• Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man’s respect; it will give the kiss of death to his attraction, and it will put a time limit on the relationship

• Women are conditioned to give themselves away. I have yet to see a men’s magazine with an article on how to cook a woman a four-course meal. The closest they ever come to a recipe is in the bodybuilder section, when they tell guys to mix up a few egg whites with some wheat germ.

• When you react emotionally, it gives him a feeling of control. And if you react emotionally frequently, over time he will come to see you as less of a mental challenge. If he can’t predict how you’ll always react, you remain a challenge.

• A man will always want what he can’t have. When a man meets a woman and she seems nonchalant, it becomes a challenge for him to win her affections.

• What women need to understand is that when a man considers a woman to be a prize, looks have very little to do with it. In the above example, it was a simple mind trick that goes like this; She acted like a prize, and then a funny thing happened. He completely forgot who he was looking at.

• Never assume you are not attractive enough, and therefore you have to overcompensate or chase a man. Taste is subjective. One man’s “ugly” is another man’s “beautiful”. The first date is about looks. When he falls in love, it’s about your attitude. It’s about whether you can hold your own. Which is all about how you hold yourself.

• The issue is not whether you turn him on; it’s whether he stays turned on after he has been satisfied. This is the key.

• It started when he was a kid. When he received a toy for Christmas that he didn’t even ask for, he played with it for a while five minutes. The toy he cherished was the one he bought with two months’ allowance that sat on the top shelf in the toy store. He couldn’t reach it but went in to look at it all the time.

• To give a man too much reassurance too soon is the same as over watering a plant. It kills it.

• Women need to understand that men love the “thrill of the chase” and are highly competitive. They like racing cars, engaging in athletics, and hunting. They like to fix things, to figure things out, to pursue.

• ….a man wants something he’ll go after it, and going after it makes him want it even more. If he doesn’t succeed right away, he starts to crave it. It captures his interest and excites his imagination.

• …men often admitted that if the sex was too easy to get, it was not that great. It’s like blackjack. If he wins big right up front, he’s done for the night.

• The objective while dating is not to be mean. It’s to give him the thrill of the chase by taking it slowly and letting him be a man. It’s easy to understand his nature because it is our human nature, too.

• Whenever you make him feel as thought he has to see you, it will feel like work. When it’s not an obligation to see you, the very same thing will feel like pleasure.

• Men like things that are difficult. They like to drive stick-shift automobiles. They like to jump out of airplanes, and hey like to climb mountains. They like to do the impossible. Therefore, when he has to go out of his way to see you, he is actually happier. I will not feel like work for him.

• Eventually you won’t want to be around her because you won’t feel as thought she is contributing to your friendship. That’s how a guy feels when you are too dependent on him. It becomes a burden if you lean on him too much. He is only human, and he has his own problems. Show him that you’ll be an equal partner, which means that you also have something to contribute.

• He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him. Only then will he perceive you as an equal partner.

• This is also why giving him space is so important. It makes you look proud rather then desperate. It enables you to remain a challenge indefinitely. Why? You chose to be with him. You didn’t need to be. As a person, you feel you are complete with him or without him.

• In general, there are two things a woman does to encourage a man to fall madly in love after he is attracted to her. First, she appeals to his imagination, sexually. Second, she waits a little while before consummating the relationship, sexually.

• What men don’t want women to know is that, almost immediately, they put women into one of two categories: “good time only” or “worthwhile”. And the minute he slides you into that “good time only” category, you’ll almost never come back out. It’s not that the bitch is slutty or more conservative – it’s that she demands that the treat her as thought she is “worthwhile”. And, more often that not, it means revealing her sexuality a little at a time. With her demeanor, the bitch is subtly “driving the train”.

• The doormat is more likely to be perceived as a pushover sexually because she’s more likely to sleep with a man for the wrong reasons – and much too soon. It has nothing to do with whether she appears conservative. Whether her style is long skirts and a ponytail and she attends napkin-folding class or she wears sexy clothes and seems like a party girl – the outcome can be the same. In either scenario, if she has sex with a man because she feels she needs to do so in order to win him, he’ll sense it and begin to lose respect for her.

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“I hate valentines day!” is the most common phrase said by single people in their most despised holiday – Single Awareness Day. There are reasons behind this saying because society puts tremendous pressure on currently single people.

People who are single by choice suddenly start feeling anxiety and doubts about their lifestyles. “What if…” they think. This means “What if I made the wrong choice, what if I had gotten married, what if I had concentrated on looking for my potential significant other?” Those multiple “ifs” twirl inside of their heads 24/7 as soon as they are trigged by multiple red ads with heart shaped objects.

People who are single by choice usually win those inner battles pretty quickly and do not acknowledge the “V” holiday at all. They pretend it does not exist. However, this group of people is not that big. The largest “I hate Valentines Day” group is people who went through a dramatic break up. They either just cured their broken heart or still have it. Those people would give up lots of things in their lives in order to be held by someone who loves them on Valentines Day. Of course, 90% of those people are women.

Unfortunately, the real situation is not that simple. Those single people who dread being single on Valentines Day put a tremendous amount of pressure, anxiety, jealousy, and negativity on themselves. This is very dangerous because it can not only damage their health, but can also attract negative events in other areas of their lives (work, family, social, etc). Their inner moaning and crying about their exes might lead to not only multiple diseases (if they have kids under thirteen years old, the kids might get sick), but also to unemployment, loss of business, and conflicts with family and friends.

Dear people whose favorite mantra is “I Hate Valentines Day!”, stop chanting it right now. You have to switch your attention. If you don’t know how to do it, the Broken Heart 911 program has a whole chapter dedicated to this subject

Why don’t you treat Valentines Day like Martin Luther King Day, Saint Patrick’s Day, or Veterans Day? You don’t have a date? Great! It is much better to be meaningfully single than to be alone within the couple. Go out and watch people. You will be surprised how many couples are “on duty” because “they have to do valentine rituals.” Yes, there are lots of happy couples and it’s great. However, if you are not in a happy or at least functional relationship, it is better to be single. You don’t have to be completed. The “to be complete” myth was created by the sales department of the first matchmaking service.

There are several ideas for single people on how to spend Valentines Day:

• Is there something that you have always wanted to do, but never had extra time or budget? Do it on Valentines Day whether it is trying a pole dancing class, doing a seaweed wrap, or buying a useless but beautiful piece of jewelry.

• Do you have a single friend or relative who you haven’t seen in a while? Go see this person. Perhaps you have your favorite niece who can’t wait to see you or your little sister who never gets your attention. If you are a single parent, spend your time with your kid doing something fun. Trust me, her (his) memories will be more valuable in the long term than spending time with “whoever was available.”

• Splurge on anything you want that would make you feel good.

• Go see a great movie, play, or concert.

• Remember that you are not the only one. You just feel like it. There are millions of people who are in the same boat as you.

Read this blog. We are going to create a month long Valentines section that will be dedicated to making all single and broken hearted people feel good. Instead of thinking “I hate Valentines Day”, think “Let me make this Valentines Day the first day of my new, happy life.” Some people make New Year Resolution, you make a Valentines Day Resolution that will be the first stair on a large ladder of your future happiness.

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“Am I his rebound girl?” you might be asking yourself in the beginning of a new relationship. Being a rebound girl is much worse then being a rebound guy. Don’t let illusions trick you. If he was in a relationship recently, be very alert, especially if his beloved ex girlfriend or wife dumped him. I suggest that you walk away from him as soon as you understand that you are his rebound girl.

Yes, he will be hurt even more. However, if you won’t leave him, he will hurt you. If you are a Mother Teresa who is looking to save lives…be my guest and keep dating him (you can even let yourself believe that you will make him forget his ex). If your ultimate goal is to get married and live happily ever after, move on.

How to Find Out if You Are a Rebound Girl

1) Ask questions – don’t be afraid. You have absolutely nothing to lose, except your valuable time. Ask if he’s ever been in love…ask how long he was been with his ex and why they broke up. Ask what his ex is doing now (attention, if they just broke up and she is already in a relationship, there is a huge chance that he’s been dumped and he has a broken heart).

2) Look for evidence – pictures in his place, in his computer, or his phone. Ask him if he has his ex’s picture (if he has it in his phone it’s not a major red flag).

3) Ask if he is “friends” with his ex or if she is friends with his friends and family.

Women have a tendency to think that they have to be subtle in order to not scare a man away. Guess what? If your man decides to leave you, he will leave you.

There is a huge difference between being a rebound girl and a rebound guy. Guys might even like the idea of being a rebound friend. If they are not looking for a serious relationship, they might simply enjoy a win–win situation where a girl is getting her self-esteem lifted and her time filled with sex and other “look like relationship activities.”

However, women are wired differently. Very few women are looking for casual sex and dating. Most women see dating as awful, but unfortunately a necessary process that will lead to “living happily ever after and dying on the same day holding hands.”

Therefore if you see the following red flags, you should leave ASAP.

1) He just ended a long term relationship.

2) He ended a relationship a long time ago, but still really misses his ex.

3) He talks about his ex a lot.

4) He says really bad things about his ex (it’s even worse; it means that he’s been hurt and that he is not a gentleman).

5) He has pictures of his ex in his place, computer, and phone.

6) He has his ex’s belongings in his place or his car.

7) His ex is still very close with his mom, sister, or best friends.

He points to females on TV who are the same type as his ex.

9) Drinking and sex are the two primary activities you two do together.

10) He is not in a hurry to jump in a serious relationship any time soon because he is not ready, he wants to establish himself professionally, “it’s not you, it’s me, baby”, etc.

Remember, there are many more emotionally available men out there and you need to respect and love yourself in order to not get into the “rebound girl” trap.

• As soon as he will recover, he will leave you because you will always be a reminder of his break up, broken heart and the pain he went through.

• BROKEN HEART 911 HOME

How bad is it to be a rebound guy? What are your chances that a girl will really like you and eventually fall in love with you? Will she dump you as soon as she will recover of her break up and broken heart? As soon as she wants her ex back? All of those and other questions are probably spinning in your head when you met someone just out of a relationship.

There are good news and bad new for you. The good news is that your woman is in a very fragile emotional condition and if you play your cards right, you might eventually win her over and prove that you are much better then her beloved ex.

The bad news is that in the beginning you will be constantly compared (consciously and unconsciously) to her ex. After a break up has taken place and someone’s heart has been broken, this person’s mind might play a very mean trick – all bad memories might be erased while all great memories might be brought on the surface. That is when the “terribly missing ex” part begins.

Can a rebound guy be “promoted” to the only one? The answer is “absolutely yes”, but it does not happen every time. It is more of an exception.  Sometimes a guy does not even realize what is going on. He might have no clue that he is a rebound guy, especially if a woman keeps most details of her previous relationship for herself

So how would someone recognize that he is a rebound guy? There is only one way to go about it – you have to keep yourself informed. You should not be afraid to ask questions. If a woman had her heart broken, she would be more than willing to talk about her former relationship and her ex. If she is too smart and avoids the topic completely, you would still get the sense that something happened from her friends and family.

Another common question is how much time should pass between her break up and her recovery. Well, if she was really in love and she broke up one to six months ago, chances that she is still mourning about her ex are pretty strong. If you don’t want to be her rebound guy, you have to make sure that she already dated (and preferably had sex with) someone after her break up. Then your chances to involve her emotionally are much stronger. Remember, you have no control over a woman, unless she is emotionally intrigued and involved.

If you are looking for a serious relationship, but you understand that she is heart broken and not emotionally available, then the best way is to move on and find someone else who could appreciate you more.

However, if you are not looking for a serious relationship right away, then being a rebound guy might be a win–win situation for both of you. She needs to receive support, increase her self-esteem, erase painful memories, and have a good time. You need to have a good company who will not be emotionally attached and needy. It might work for both of you.

Therefore, if you are a rebound guy and you are fully aware of the situation and agree with it, you have to remember one thing. You have to be gentle, kind, and generous. Don’t be another jerk who gives false promises and runs away. It is better to not say anything than say tons of words and not keep them. Remember, traumatizing a heart broken person is as bad as damaging the emotions of children or elderly people. It will bring you bad karma.

If you decide to be a rebound guy, be gentle. If you date a woman and find out that you are the rebound guy, then you have to think twice before making your decision.

• BROKEN HEART 911 HOME
  

What do guys want? If women knew the answer to this question, their lives would be that much easier. However, if guys really knew what they really want, the ease of girls’ and women’ lives would be multiplied.

What do guys want in a girl? What do guys want in a woman? Understanding men in relationships is like cracking a mysterious code. If women knew how to crack this code, then men and women would be living happily ever after and die on the same day holding hands.

• Guys want excitement. They want thrill and adrenalin. They want chases and hunting. Guys want to put a puzzle together, not read an open book.

• Guys want to have a good time. They want to laugh and joke around, so any kind of drama, nagging, or whining is the perfect way to end your relationship.

• Guys want to have good sex – diverse, creative, and memorable. However, they want it as a prize for the effort of their chase, not a free gift. That means that if you give it to them too soon, it won’t have as much value and weight for your future together.

• Guys want to be …GUYS. They want to make decisions and feel like men, not like kids or puppies on a short leash.

• Guys want to be with free, independent girls; girls who live on their own. They want to be with girls who would not be sitting and waiting for a call, but who would make their own plans and have their own opinions (and preferably their own money).

• Guys want to test and see where girls’ limits are. However, they would like to only be with girls who will not let them do it.

• Guys want girls who take care of themselves physically. There is a huge difference between women who are just beautiful and women who take care of themselves, keeping themselves in great shape. If you like yourselves, guys will like you too.

• Guys want girls who don’t bombard them with texts and calls. They like to wonder where their girls are.

• Guys want girls who let them do their “guy things” such as “Guys’ Night Outs” where they would have fun for the first 15 minutes and then start talking about girls:)