Feeling Good

Millions of women are trying to answer an eternal question – how do I make my man happy and how do I please him in order to have a happy and healthy relationship? If you are reading this now, congratulations – you are at the right place.

So how do you please your man, how do you make a man want you, and, most importantly, how do you keep your man and make him come back again and again?

I believe that this subject should be taught in high school. Why? Because if a woman is not happy in a relationship, she is not able to concentrate on her work, family, and social life. If women knew how to operate in a relationship smoothly, they would be able to safe lots of time and positive energy for other areas of their life.

How to Please Your Man 101

Written by Lana ~ The first time I laid eyes on my ex, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. Although after thinking about it for a minute I realized that I haven’t really seen much of the world. I was also chubby and in the middle of a weird phase, so we didn’t hit it of right away. We did become good friends though, and that lasted for two years, during which I lost weight, grew and dyed my hair, and changed my personality quite a bit.

Then, on a normal night of pigging out and watching movies at his house, he kissed me. I could lie and say it was the best kiss in the world, but honestly, the first thing that popped into my head was: “Really? This is what I’ve been waiting for?” I felt nothing, but since I waited for that moment for years, I let myself keep doing it for the next couple of weeks until it consumed me.

After we started officially dating, I gave him my body, and thought we would be together forever. I never imagined my best friend would deceive me in any way, and when it happened the first time, I forgave him without even thinking about it. “It was just a kiss” he said. So I continued to let myself fall deeper.

We did everything together, and I really thought he needed me, until the first time he said “I just don’t feel like having a girlfriend right now.” This break up had me crying for weeks, and on the days I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I called him to hang out “as friends”. Of course to him it was a chance to have sex with me without dealing with commitment.

Finally I got the strength to stay away from him for a couple weeks and before I knew it he wanted me back; I took him back without giving it another thought. Throughout our three year relationship he broke up with me the same way over twenty times and every time, when he came back I gladly accepted him.

Probably because I didn’t think anyone would love me the way he did; I was wrong. Not only was I wrong about that, I was wrong about him, because when I finally got the courage to snoop through his text’s I found the answers I tried so hard to deny in my head.

Yes, he was texting other girls, including his ex girlfriend who he had slept with behind my back numerous times. I was so devastated and furious that I stormed out of his house and told him to never speak to me again. Not too long passed before he was at my door again; this time with flowers. They were so beautiful I had to take him back, but even pretty flowers couldn’t keep us together for long and subconsciously I never really forgave him.

After our third year of breaking up, making up, lying, cheating and pretending that we were okay I went on vacation. I only spent a week in Hawaii with one of my best friends but for some odd reason when I got back home I just didn’t love him anymore. He tried all his old tricks on me but they no longer lit up my heart, and I knew I had to move on.

Sometimes I got lonely and other times when he came to me crying I wanted to just hug him and tell him that everything is okay, and I love him too, but that was no longer true. It’s been years since my break up, and now it’s very hard to look back and understand why I spent so long crying when I could have been happy, but that’s just life I guess.

Finding happiness is easy. “Yeah, right,” you might think to yourself. “If it was that easy, the world would be full of happy, smiling, problem-free people.” 

Again, I’ll repeat, finding happiness is possible for each and every person. It does not matter if you are a man or a woman, if you are eighteen or eighty, you can become happy at this particular moment. This will definitely take more than reading this article, but this read might become a first step for your happiness-on-a-daily-basis journey. 

How to Find Happiness – The 5 Main Steps

Secondly, you need to accept and love yourself the way you are now. Each and every person is different for a reason. All definitions of people’s qualities are subjective. Nobody has a license to judge. You won’t become happy until you let yourself be yourself and until you love yourself and accept yourself the way you are now. Next and most importantly, nobody is responsible for finding your happiness but you. It is very easy to sit on your behind and whine about how bad things are. It takes much more to get up and get going to really create circumstances that will make you happy. And finally, until you are in a good mood, good things won’t happen to you. There is a “catch 22” – you can’t find happiness because bad things happen, and they keep happening because you are unhappy. You need to break the circle.

How do you feel happy? Billions of people try finding the answer to this question. People look for happiness everywhere – in wealth and in love, in traveling and in settling down, in getting married and in getting divorced, in raising kids and in dedicating their life to themselves. Different people are looking for different things, doing different things, and dreaming about different things only because of one main reason – the feeling of happiness.

Finding happiness is an art which is why all people who really find it became incredibly popular – almost saints.

How to Feel Happy

1) Live in the moment. In order to feel happy all of the time, you need to learn how to feel happy each and every minute and then connect all those minutes together.

2) You have to learn how to switch from negative to positive in a matter of seconds (if you don’t know how, the Broken Heart 911 Program has a whole chapter dedicated to this topic).

3) In order to enjoy something as a whole, you need to learn how to enjoy the details first. For example, you get a cup of coffee in the morning. Instead of cursing that the coffee is spilling and it’s too hot, you forget to put in enough creamer and are going to be late at work, just take a minute, get rid of the feeling of being late and the anxiety that something bad will happen and enjoy the smell first, then the taste. Think about something that makes you happy while doing every sip; anything that makes you feel good will do the trick.

4) Remember that there are no bad things; there are things that make you feel bad and take you away from happiness and there are no bad people; there are toxic people that make you feel bad.

5) Reevaluate how you spend your time and who you are hanging out with on the regular basis. Are they worth your time and energy? Make a list of people who make you feel good. Try to spend more time with them.

6) Get enough sleep as well as sunshine (8-9 hours of sleep daily and 10 minutes under the sun will do the trick).

7) Don’t forget about your favorite music. However, if you love sad, heartbreaking songs, think again. You need something that will bring you happiness, not twirl, twist, and squeeze your heart and brain.

8) If you have a pet, it’s perfect, if you don’t, you can always visit a friend with a pet or a pet store. Science has shown that pets are major stress relievers.

9) Learn how to control your feelings. Get a pen and write a list of positive emotions on the left side, and a list of negative emotions on the right side. As soon as you catch yourself feeling something that belongs to the right side (anxiety, sadness, jealousy, anger, fear, etc) you need to get rid of this feeling.

10) Don’t get back to the past and stop feeling guilt and regret. Everything happens for a reason and for the best. You can’t control the circumstances; you can only control your behavior at the present moment. Therefore, start controlling it now, get rid of negative thoughts, and make the first step of being permanently happy.

11) Do not underestimate the power of exercise. The amount of oxygen that gets into your brain and releases the hormone of happiness is definitely worth spending time working out. One hour at the gym will not only get your body, but also your mind and soul in shape.

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1. You cannot know what was is good and what is evil.

2. However, you need to know that the good imposed is evil.

3. You don’t know what the Universe needs.

4. There is no “right” or “wrong.” You do not know which is which.

5. There are no bad things, events, or circumstances. There are things, events, and circumstances that make you sad.

6. There are no good things, events, or circumstances; there are things, events and circumstances that make you happy.

7. The Universe if too large to be hurt, so you can’t do anything bad to it.

8. The Universe, perhaps, needs your mistakes.

9. Your mistakes won’t damage the Universe.

10. Don’t look for the truth; it does not exist. If the truth exists, you don’t need it.

11. Don’t look for the life’s meaning. If it exists, it is beyond life’s borders.

12. Don’t worry about yourself. In fact, you are too precious for the Universe and the Universe doesn’t want you to vanish.

13. How do you define your goals? Do they really belong to you?

14. Don’t feel guilty about anything. Nothing is your fault.

15. Do not bother telling people what to do – how would you know what is real and what is not, what is true and what is false?

16. If what you do is difficult, think whether it really needs to be done.

17. Do things that are given to you, but do it with all your abilities, strengths, and determination.

18. If you did something by accident, according to the Universe, it was done on purpose.

19. You need to support everything you like and elude from all you don’t like.

20. If your mistake’s consequences can be fixed, you haven’t made mistake yet.

21. Everything happens on time.

22. Sometimes the cost of the right solutions might be more expensive than a mistake.

23. Happening is beyond your will or control. However, it’s up to you if you are willing to accept it.

24. If you don’t know the directions, take a companion. If you know the way, go by yourself.

25. To be strong means to be lonely. A very strong person is stronger along. You can choose how strong you want to be.

26. Every person is alone. A strong person accepts and blesses his solitude while a weak person runs away from it.

27. You should be very calm and attentive to the world so you won’t miss a moment of force.

28. When you try to learn about yourself from others, you provide them with power. You have to keep complete control over your life.

29. You must bless all missed opportunities because you gained the biggest opportunities.

30. Give away, forgive, and lose ease.

31. If you feel sorry that you didn’t have too much joy, you acquire sadness.

32. Learn to love your enemy in order to win.

33. If your enemy caught you by surprise but you are still alive, it means that he is in your hands.

34. A person who wants to break you wills is weak, don’t be afraid of him.

35. Neglect is the best revenge.

36. If you want to weaken the resistance, you should step back.

37. Don’t try to be stronger than your contender; just search for his weak spots.

38. If you love your enemy, you get to know him better. The more you know your enemy, the more it works to your advantage.

39. You might not always win, but you can make yourself invincible. A victory is up to your contender, but your invincibility is up to you.

40. It does not matter who your contender is – try to see him as a person. You’ll realize really soon that this approach gives you a huge advantage.

41. To have a taste and to make yourself full are two different pleasures. You should not confuse them.

42. You know the rules. However, you don’t know all rules that the world is operated by.

43. There are people who are destructive to you. It does not mean that they are bad. It means that being close to them is destructive to you. There are people who make you stronger when you are next to them. It does not mean that they are good. What it does mean is that being near those people makes you stronger. Pay attention when you spend time with other people. You need to avoid communication with destructive people and stay as close as you can to people who make you stronger. If you can’t do it, avoid a friendship altogether.

44. When a fire is approaching, it shines first. Then, it warms you up. After that, it burns you.

45. You are immortal now because you are still alive.

46. Do not fear curses and don’t look for praises. Neither of them bring something new to you.

47. You create worry and anxiety while measuring your success by praises or blames.

48. Don’t think where to go if you are staying in the middle of a suspension bridge.

49. You can never tell where you are going. The only thing you can say is where you are hoping to go.

50. Do not fight because you will inevitably become what you fight against.

51. Remember about the “thirteen hits’ law”. If your clock hits thirteen times instead of twelve, you have to throw it away. It does not matter what kind of guarantee you will receive about its repair.

52. Any behavior consists of opposites. If you do something and try too hard, then sooner or later you’ll get the opposite. Any excessive desire attracts the opposite.

53. A wise leader does not form an event. He lets the process be. If any situation seems too complicated for you, just let it be. When the situation is on its own, it eventually will take care itself.

54. Do not rush things. Let the process unfold.

55. Silence is a great source of strength.

56. Time from time, leave people and go back to silence. Learn to be yourself.

57. Silence and a clear sense of being are the sources of any effective action.

58. Silence and an empty space would reveal your mood. This is the place of your being.

59. Intend to be genuinely interested in yourself. It will teach you dedication.

60. Try to listen easily. Put some effort into listening to every word. Dive into your inner silence and observe yourself. Then, you will have an opportunity to have a clear mind.

61. When you will learn your own depths, you will be able to communicate with the depths of others.

62. When you free yourself from who are you, you become a person who you can be.

63. When you free yourself from what you have, you can receive what you need.

64. The feeling of being devastated indicates that you are at the beginning of your growth period.

65. When you don’t desire much, lots of things will come to you.

66. When you stop trying to impress, you will become pretty impressive.

67. The true power of influence is not based on technical tricks or some set of rules. You have to stay in being, not in doing.

68. Hidden wisdom says that you have to give away in order to achieve.

69. Excessive attempts are counterproductive.

70. While you are in being and not using the formula – TO BE – TO DO – TO CREATE. If you would like to create something, you need to figure out what you must to do for it. Don’t repeat the mistakes of other people who try to do something in a hurry, but don’t achieve anything. You need to step back to the beginning of the formula and ask again, “Who do I need to be in order to do it? Then, stay in being. However, you will receive a clear, concrete result – the one you wanted to create. This is the core of the Universe’s magic.

71. You need to know where you belong and what you’re worth. This is your core.

72. You need to clarify your purpose. Then, you can achieve it without any fuss.

73. You need to watch nature and science processes such as motion of the planets, sun light, and the attraction of the Earth. They have the power and strength because they simply exist. Your body works in sync with those processes. Freedom comes from subordination. Remember, you are a part of a natural process.

74. When you stay outside of events, meditate over the question: What happens when nothing happens?

75. There is no difference between what happens and how it happens.

76. Stay neutral and do not take sides.

77. Trust what is happening. Accept what is happening. While trusting and accepting, your position remains strong.

78. The formula of power is the formula of management. The art of management is based on the understanding of this formula. If you want to manage many, imagine what drives a few. Intend to see one part of the large picture. Managing people who are the same is much easier than managing different people. It is easier to manage people who have the same goal than people who do not have the same goal. It is easier to manage people who have the same enemy than manage people who have different enemies. You need to divide a large picture into small pieces. Then, you will receive all the details. In order to manage effectively, make all people the same. The art of making people the same develops from the skill of seeing them differently.

79. Be the owner, not the guest. The owner is the one who one who authorizes or permits, allows or does not allow. He is not the one who asks, but one who is asked. He is not someone who needs, but the one who is essential. He is not the one who goes, but the one who is visited. The guest is the one who is asking permission to visit or to enter. The guest is the one who asks, needs, or inquires permission. If you have a meeting, try to conduct it on your territory. Let people come to you. However, if you have an appointment; try to switch places with the owner. It all depends on your inner attitude. To be an owner is an inner position, not an external movement.

80. An arguing person is always the petitioner. Subconsciously, he asks for attention. Therefore, an arguing individual is the guest.

81. Do not argue and do not let a disputer involve you. Do not partner with stupidity.

82. A person who begins arguing is obviously obtains a weak position because he is a petitioner (even if an unspoken one)

83. Think of the power that is behind you, and then this power will actually stand up for you.

84. Be indifferent to any message. Do not be like the king, by executing the messenger for bad news. Power is in indifference and this power rules the world.

85. Learn to distinguish between reversible and irreversible. Then, you learn to control time.

86. Let the following be your temporary teachers:
Darkness – it is impossible to see
Thunder – you can never foresee who it will hit
Fire – it is warm near it, but you easily can burn yourself Learn unpredictability and inaccessibility.

87. Your best teacher is your own path. Do not look for the master; he is near you side by side. You need to open up in order to see him.

88. Distinguish between empty and solid.
The quality of solid is support.
The quality of empty is unreliability.
Solid is

-         trusted information

-         someone who can be relied upon

-         a fulfilled promise

-         the car that will be started and run promptly.

-         a performed order

-         a word that will be heard and understood. Solid is what gives the result.

Empty is

-         non accurate information

-         an unreliable ally

-         a lazy worker

-         a dishonest manager

-         an unfulfilled promise

The result of the interaction between solid and empty is empty.

If in your project at least one component will be empty, the whole project will turn out to be empty.
Solid is set apart from empty in your inner world.

89. Strive to feel your own way because your path is the best manager.

90. If you know your path, all your successes and failures will be pushing you forward.

91. You won’t be able to distinguish between success and failure if tomorrow comes.

92. Understanding is above knowledge.

93. Everybody rules the world. Someone does it bad and someone does it good. A child manages their parents, an employee manages the boss, all people control all other people.  Everything controls everything.

94. If somebody asks you a favor but they don’t want to return the act of kindness, you should know that they do not ask, but just offer you to do something.

95. Do not feel sorry, don’t have fears, do not ask.

96. The past and future are born in present.

97. God is here and now.

98. Learn how to say “no.”

99. Laws can be broken only if necessary.

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New Year’s Resolutions – for some people New Year’s Resolutions are excuses to continue with bad habits until the New Year. For other people, New Year’s Resolutions are an opportunity to overwrite mistakes and have a fresh start and another chance for them to get things right.

I’m a very strong believer in New Year’s Resolutions and I usually stick to one out of ten forever. However, I can’t agree more with the point of view of one young (15 year old), but pretty accomplished for his age (straight “A” student who works out six times a week, eats healthy, and always works towards his professional goals while being amazing to his family without having “teen problems”) gentleman.  He simply stated, “What is the point of New Year’s Resolutions? If you would like to do something, just do it right away.”

Have you ever wondered about other people’s New Year’s Resolutions 2010? Here are the five most common ones: 1) lose weight, 2) pay off debt, 3) spend time with family, 4) quite smoking/drinking, and 5) be organized.

Those New Year’s Resolution ideas are great, but too general. The more broad the idea is, the harder it is to stick to it because the motivation will fade after the first tide of optimism is gone and results are nowhere to be seen.

Therefore, we suggest a different approach to New Year’s Resolutions.

First of all, I’d love to share one of my favorite quotes by Donald Trump, “Get going. Move forward. Aim high. Plan for a takeoff. Don’t just sit on the runway and hope someone will come along and push the airplane. It simply won’t happen. Feed yourself some positive thoughts and you can take off at any time.”

If you visit this site, it means that you (as each and every person in the Universe) are looking for love, relationship, dating, and broken heart answers. How is this statement related to New Year’s Resolutions? Please, keep reading.

How to Make New Year’s Resolutions Really Work

1. Remember, the size of your waist line or bank account does not matter if it does not relate to your happiness. Finding positive highlights in each event and circumstance should be the number one priority this year. If you are not happy, you can’t be a great event’s magnet. Negativity is a form of fear and fear is a major destroyer.

2. Instead of shooting for big goals, slice and dice those until you have small steps you can stick to. Smaller steps bring larger results. My favorite example is suggested by Oprah: if you would like to lose 20 pounds by next year, all you have to do is to stick to losing 1.6 pounds per month! If you will lose more, you feel much better than if you stick to a resolution of losing 8 pounds a month (and failing).

More examples of mini resolutions:

1)    Do a plank for one minute every day.

2)    Cut 150 calories out of your every day diet (3 chocolate chip cookies which you enjoy for one minute and then shed off for several workouts).

3)    Go out for lunch once a week instead of every day or cut your Starbucks coffee from 5 to 1-2 times a week.

4)    Every time the thought of your ex bothers you, do the “Switch” exercise.

3. Be specific about what you’d really like to change. Take your time and eventually create a “Wish Board” or “Wish Album” that will help you visualize your goals.

4. Be persistent and if you slip and drop your Resolution, just get up on your feet as soon as you can and don’t wait until next year.

5. Keep your New Year’s Resolutions private; don’t share them with friends and family. This way, nobody can control and criticize you. In case of your failure, nobody will know and if case of your big victory, everybody will be surprised and astonished.

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Broken heart, break up, dysfunctional relationship, opinionated kids, problems at work or even a work absence along with mean fall weather and a global economy crisis are not the best conditions to spend days in your best mood.

There are tons of mood descriptive terms such as hypochondria, melancholy, boredom, longing, and despair. However, all of those terms won’t be found in medical books. Medical sources operate with two main concepts of “stress” and “depression.”

People who try to fight their bad mood need to know the difference between “stress” and “depression” as well as know that they are closely related to each other.

Irritability, a short temper, and anxiety are the main stress symptoms. Each and every person should be very careful with those symptoms because stress will not forgive the careless attitude. If you neglect your nervous system, you stress can turn into depression.

Therefore, we have to fight a bad mood and do every thing we can in order to be in a good mood. The sooner we start, the better our chances and results will be.

Let’s make an adjustment on the agreement – we recommend a no shopping and no food (especially sweets) therapy. Shopping will have a negative intact on your budget and food will get you out of shape (it might be the reason for the secondary wave of stress later).

Tip 1 – Wash Your Stress Away

Go to a spa and treat yourself with sauna, steam room, massages, facials, or any other procedure. Sounds simple, but all water procedures wash stress away. If you can’t afford a spa or don’t have time, you can either go to a good sports club (even if you are not a member, you can easily get a free pass) or you can go to any luxury hotel in you area. You don’t have to buy the full spa service. Most of the hotels will let you in for a minimal fee and you can spend as much time as you want near the pool and other amenities.

If even those options are not an option – take an old fashioned, warm bubbly bath with lots of lit candles and mellow music. Buy fresh mint and brew mint tea with lemon, honey, and a shot of cognac. You will feel brand new afterwards.

Tip #2 – Laugh Like a Kid

You should feel free to laugh at every opportunity, even non appropriate sometimes. A good laugh benefits not only your mood, but your health in general. Even if you don’t feel like laughing, laugh anyways. Studies prove that artificial laugher becomes genuine and contagious eventually.

Tip # 3 – Surround Yourself With Bright Colors

In a lot of cases, fall mood swings are results of light deficiency. In order to compensate this luck, you should surround yourself with bright colors. Stop saving electricity and add more light to your room.

Research color psychology and find out what color you would need to have around the most. Change your curtain and covers. Oranges and tangerines will remind you of sun. Fill your vase with bright fruits. Buy fresh flowers and place them in your living room (no flowers in the bedroom, according to feng shui).

Tip # 4 – Become Your Own Adventure Tour Guide

What would be an extreme experience for you – sky diving, roller coaster riding, or wall climbing? There are so many unexplored activities. Do any of them and your mood will be constantly lifted. In order to increase this effect, shamelessly brag about your experience and courage, especially to people who would not believe you.

Tip # 5 – Help Someone Who Feels Even Worse Than You Do

If you think that you’ve got problems, I’d love to assure you that there are many people who have much deeper problems. Find a person who has more problems than you do and help him (her). At the very least you can listen, sympathize, cheer up, and make him (her) feel better. Altruism not only reduces stress, but also improves your immune and cardiovascular system.

Tip # 6 – Get a Pet

Studies done by the University of California showed that keeping and communicating with a pet produces the serotonin, happiness hormone. Serotonin lifts your mood in fifteen-twenty minutes. Visit friends who own pets and play with their cats or dogs. You can even go to you local pet store and watch a fish swimming or a bird singing.

Tips # 7 Connect to Nature

Spending time near flowers, woods, or water will switch your negative energy. Sunrises and sunsets are the best time to connect with nature. Go watch waves for half an hour, take a hike, or just sit in the nearest park and your mood will improve.

Exercise: if can watch the sun rising or setting, inhale and slowly count until ten. At the same time, imagine the stream of silver energy going from the sun and wrapping you as a space suit and filling you with happiness. When you exhale, picture yourself keeping this silver energy suit on. Sometimes you don’t even leave the office in order to do this exercise. What you need is a window and the sun.

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