Self-Esteem

1. You cannot know what was is good and what is evil.

2. However, you need to know that the good imposed is evil.

3. You don’t know what the Universe needs.

4. There is no “right” or “wrong.” You do not know which is which.

5. There are no bad things, events, or circumstances. There are things, events, and circumstances that make you sad.

6. There are no good things, events, or circumstances; there are things, events and circumstances that make you happy.

7. The Universe if too large to be hurt, so you can’t do anything bad to it.

8. The Universe, perhaps, needs your mistakes.

9. Your mistakes won’t damage the Universe.

10. Don’t look for the truth; it does not exist. If the truth exists, you don’t need it.

11. Don’t look for the life’s meaning. If it exists, it is beyond life’s borders.

12. Don’t worry about yourself. In fact, you are too precious for the Universe and the Universe doesn’t want you to vanish.

13. How do you define your goals? Do they really belong to you?

14. Don’t feel guilty about anything. Nothing is your fault.

15. Do not bother telling people what to do – how would you know what is real and what is not, what is true and what is false?

16. If what you do is difficult, think whether it really needs to be done.

17. Do things that are given to you, but do it with all your abilities, strengths, and determination.

18. If you did something by accident, according to the Universe, it was done on purpose.

19. You need to support everything you like and elude from all you don’t like.

20. If your mistake’s consequences can be fixed, you haven’t made mistake yet.

21. Everything happens on time.

22. Sometimes the cost of the right solutions might be more expensive than a mistake.

23. Happening is beyond your will or control. However, it’s up to you if you are willing to accept it.

24. If you don’t know the directions, take a companion. If you know the way, go by yourself.

25. To be strong means to be lonely. A very strong person is stronger along. You can choose how strong you want to be.

26. Every person is alone. A strong person accepts and blesses his solitude while a weak person runs away from it.

27. You should be very calm and attentive to the world so you won’t miss a moment of force.

28. When you try to learn about yourself from others, you provide them with power. You have to keep complete control over your life.

29. You must bless all missed opportunities because you gained the biggest opportunities.

30. Give away, forgive, and lose ease.

31. If you feel sorry that you didn’t have too much joy, you acquire sadness.

32. Learn to love your enemy in order to win.

33. If your enemy caught you by surprise but you are still alive, it means that he is in your hands.

34. A person who wants to break you wills is weak, don’t be afraid of him.

35. Neglect is the best revenge.

36. If you want to weaken the resistance, you should step back.

37. Don’t try to be stronger than your contender; just search for his weak spots.

38. If you love your enemy, you get to know him better. The more you know your enemy, the more it works to your advantage.

39. You might not always win, but you can make yourself invincible. A victory is up to your contender, but your invincibility is up to you.

40. It does not matter who your contender is – try to see him as a person. You’ll realize really soon that this approach gives you a huge advantage.

41. To have a taste and to make yourself full are two different pleasures. You should not confuse them.

42. You know the rules. However, you don’t know all rules that the world is operated by.

43. There are people who are destructive to you. It does not mean that they are bad. It means that being close to them is destructive to you. There are people who make you stronger when you are next to them. It does not mean that they are good. What it does mean is that being near those people makes you stronger. Pay attention when you spend time with other people. You need to avoid communication with destructive people and stay as close as you can to people who make you stronger. If you can’t do it, avoid a friendship altogether.

44. When a fire is approaching, it shines first. Then, it warms you up. After that, it burns you.

45. You are immortal now because you are still alive.

46. Do not fear curses and don’t look for praises. Neither of them bring something new to you.

47. You create worry and anxiety while measuring your success by praises or blames.

48. Don’t think where to go if you are staying in the middle of a suspension bridge.

49. You can never tell where you are going. The only thing you can say is where you are hoping to go.

50. Do not fight because you will inevitably become what you fight against.

51. Remember about the “thirteen hits’ law”. If your clock hits thirteen times instead of twelve, you have to throw it away. It does not matter what kind of guarantee you will receive about its repair.

52. Any behavior consists of opposites. If you do something and try too hard, then sooner or later you’ll get the opposite. Any excessive desire attracts the opposite.

53. A wise leader does not form an event. He lets the process be. If any situation seems too complicated for you, just let it be. When the situation is on its own, it eventually will take care itself.

54. Do not rush things. Let the process unfold.

55. Silence is a great source of strength.

56. Time from time, leave people and go back to silence. Learn to be yourself.

57. Silence and a clear sense of being are the sources of any effective action.

58. Silence and an empty space would reveal your mood. This is the place of your being.

59. Intend to be genuinely interested in yourself. It will teach you dedication.

60. Try to listen easily. Put some effort into listening to every word. Dive into your inner silence and observe yourself. Then, you will have an opportunity to have a clear mind.

61. When you will learn your own depths, you will be able to communicate with the depths of others.

62. When you free yourself from who are you, you become a person who you can be.

63. When you free yourself from what you have, you can receive what you need.

64. The feeling of being devastated indicates that you are at the beginning of your growth period.

65. When you don’t desire much, lots of things will come to you.

66. When you stop trying to impress, you will become pretty impressive.

67. The true power of influence is not based on technical tricks or some set of rules. You have to stay in being, not in doing.

68. Hidden wisdom says that you have to give away in order to achieve.

69. Excessive attempts are counterproductive.

70. While you are in being and not using the formula – TO BE – TO DO – TO CREATE. If you would like to create something, you need to figure out what you must to do for it. Don’t repeat the mistakes of other people who try to do something in a hurry, but don’t achieve anything. You need to step back to the beginning of the formula and ask again, “Who do I need to be in order to do it? Then, stay in being. However, you will receive a clear, concrete result – the one you wanted to create. This is the core of the Universe’s magic.

71. You need to know where you belong and what you’re worth. This is your core.

72. You need to clarify your purpose. Then, you can achieve it without any fuss.

73. You need to watch nature and science processes such as motion of the planets, sun light, and the attraction of the Earth. They have the power and strength because they simply exist. Your body works in sync with those processes. Freedom comes from subordination. Remember, you are a part of a natural process.

74. When you stay outside of events, meditate over the question: What happens when nothing happens?

75. There is no difference between what happens and how it happens.

76. Stay neutral and do not take sides.

77. Trust what is happening. Accept what is happening. While trusting and accepting, your position remains strong.

78. The formula of power is the formula of management. The art of management is based on the understanding of this formula. If you want to manage many, imagine what drives a few. Intend to see one part of the large picture. Managing people who are the same is much easier than managing different people. It is easier to manage people who have the same goal than people who do not have the same goal. It is easier to manage people who have the same enemy than manage people who have different enemies. You need to divide a large picture into small pieces. Then, you will receive all the details. In order to manage effectively, make all people the same. The art of making people the same develops from the skill of seeing them differently.

79. Be the owner, not the guest. The owner is the one who one who authorizes or permits, allows or does not allow. He is not the one who asks, but one who is asked. He is not someone who needs, but the one who is essential. He is not the one who goes, but the one who is visited. The guest is the one who is asking permission to visit or to enter. The guest is the one who asks, needs, or inquires permission. If you have a meeting, try to conduct it on your territory. Let people come to you. However, if you have an appointment; try to switch places with the owner. It all depends on your inner attitude. To be an owner is an inner position, not an external movement.

80. An arguing person is always the petitioner. Subconsciously, he asks for attention. Therefore, an arguing individual is the guest.

81. Do not argue and do not let a disputer involve you. Do not partner with stupidity.

82. A person who begins arguing is obviously obtains a weak position because he is a petitioner (even if an unspoken one)

83. Think of the power that is behind you, and then this power will actually stand up for you.

84. Be indifferent to any message. Do not be like the king, by executing the messenger for bad news. Power is in indifference and this power rules the world.

85. Learn to distinguish between reversible and irreversible. Then, you learn to control time.

86. Let the following be your temporary teachers:
Darkness – it is impossible to see
Thunder – you can never foresee who it will hit
Fire – it is warm near it, but you easily can burn yourself Learn unpredictability and inaccessibility.

87. Your best teacher is your own path. Do not look for the master; he is near you side by side. You need to open up in order to see him.

88. Distinguish between empty and solid.
The quality of solid is support.
The quality of empty is unreliability.
Solid is

-         trusted information

-         someone who can be relied upon

-         a fulfilled promise

-         the car that will be started and run promptly.

-         a performed order

-         a word that will be heard and understood. Solid is what gives the result.

Empty is

-         non accurate information

-         an unreliable ally

-         a lazy worker

-         a dishonest manager

-         an unfulfilled promise

The result of the interaction between solid and empty is empty.

If in your project at least one component will be empty, the whole project will turn out to be empty.
Solid is set apart from empty in your inner world.

89. Strive to feel your own way because your path is the best manager.

90. If you know your path, all your successes and failures will be pushing you forward.

91. You won’t be able to distinguish between success and failure if tomorrow comes.

92. Understanding is above knowledge.

93. Everybody rules the world. Someone does it bad and someone does it good. A child manages their parents, an employee manages the boss, all people control all other people.  Everything controls everything.

94. If somebody asks you a favor but they don’t want to return the act of kindness, you should know that they do not ask, but just offer you to do something.

95. Do not feel sorry, don’t have fears, do not ask.

96. The past and future are born in present.

97. God is here and now.

98. Learn how to say “no.”

99. Laws can be broken only if necessary.

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Don’t get upset if your legs are much shorter than the legs of supermodels, wearing latest outfits. There is a big difference between “long legs from the ears” and proportional legs. There is a great news for Ladies! Majority of men prefers proportionally built women with curved in right places.

Bones are great for making soup and times of anorexic skeletons are gone!

In real life real men prefer real women with real legs. It was proved by research in California State University. One thousand men participated in this pleasant experiment. They were suppose to look at women’s pictures in swimming suites and grade them. Some shapes were changed by photoshop in order to make legs longer or shorter. As a result, majority of men liked legs that were half of women’s heights.

Results of American scientists are matched with earliest similar results made by their Australian colleagues. Australian folks proved that men preferred average built women, not a skinny and bony models.

Scared by your own look

A woman who is totally happy with her look 24/7 does not exist. Time to time each woman doesn’t like her reflection at the mirror. However, if you are not happy all of the time your life turns into hell.

British publication Daily Mail held a unique experiment to find out how women diagnosed with “Dismorfobia”, a condition marked by excessive pre-occupation with an imaginary or minor defect in a facial feature or localized part of the body.

A photo session was a part of the project. Ladies were asked to comment on both pictures (normal one as well as a picture made by Photoshop based on how the woman sees herself).

1)    Rachael Baughan, 27 director of modeling agency, the author of “The Bitterly Girl”

“Comparing those two pictures helps me a lot – it is like some sort of therapy. Like people who need to change their gender I feel like this body does not belong to me, but I don’t know how it’s supposed to look in reality.

I started to have problems with accepting myself since I was 4. Kids teased me at school. I tried to cut my “fat” with the kitchen knife and then commit suicide.

My life changed 5 years ago when I got a job at sales and my mom and brother enrolled me to a beauty pageant called “Miss England”. I didn’t win, but spent a lot of time near beautiful girls on stage. I had a great sense of relief. I didn’t recover completely, but it gave me straights to move forward.”

2)    Rebecca Owen, 42, social worker

“I don’t like pictures. I think that I look fat in both of them. My problem is that my face is fat even when I’m skinny. My face looks like a pancake. When my boyfriend saw my pictures he didn’t understand why I don’t like the original.

I understand that I’m not fat, but I see pieces of fat on my face and hands when I look in the mirror. I have been playing sports till 15 and then I was scared to get fat, so I got anorexia when I was 16. I got into the hospital every three years after that. When I turned 30 I became a social worker who helps people with psychological problems.

I started to make enough money, invest them in my appearance and started to gain weight. I started to see a therapist. I feel sorry that I don’t have kids and have no idea if I can have them. My fertility is low as a result of anorexia.”

3)    Daniel Nalti, 27 sales manager

“The pics helped me to see the real me and understand that my nose is not that huge and my chin is not too long. My parents taught me not to think about my appearance – I was a boy in a skirt. Then they got a divorce and everything changed.

People think that all my problems are related to their divorce, but I wasn’t happy with myself from the first day. I started to wear clothes that cover me completely since I was 14 and used the cream that was developed for people with scars. I got diagnosed with “clinical depression”.

By the time I was 21 I learned to handle the situation and only by 25 I was diagnosed properly. Some people think that dismorfobia is desired to look perfect, but in reality it is a desire to look normal.”

4) Kathy Jones, 17, student of fashion institute

“I had been teased at school since I was 11 – kids told me that I look like an alien. I’ve never been photogenic. I don’t like both pics because I look funny.

I can’t explain what exactly I don’t like, I’m afraid that after my explanation all people will start noticing my problems as well. I started to become obsessed with my appearance since I was 13. I was nervous every time I had to look in the mirror.

I feel very sorry when I look at handicapped people with burned faces, but the truth is that I feel that I look worse. Some people

Some people think that I just try to get attention, but it’s not true. My mom’s friends say that I could’ve become a model – they don’t understand me at all. Only my boyfriend and best friends feel sorry for me.”

This is scary, isn’t it? What do you think?