“Am I his rebound girl?” you might be asking yourself in the beginning of a new relationship. Being a rebound girl is much worse then being a rebound guy. Don’t let illusions trick you. If he was in a relationship recently, be very alert, especially if his beloved ex girlfriend or wife dumped him. I suggest that you walk away from him as soon as you understand that you are his rebound girl.
Yes, he will be hurt even more. However, if you won’t leave him, he will hurt you. If you are a Mother Teresa who is looking to save lives…be my guest and keep dating him (you can even let yourself believe that you will make him forget his ex). If your ultimate goal is to get married and live happily ever after, move on.
1) Ask questions – don’t be afraid. You have absolutely nothing to lose, except your valuable time. Ask if he’s ever been in love…ask how long he was been with his ex and why they broke up. Ask what his ex is doing now (attention, if they just broke up and she is already in a relationship, there is a huge chance that he’s been dumped and he has a broken heart).
2) Look for evidence – pictures in his place, in his computer, or his phone. Ask him if he has his ex’s picture (if he has it in his phone it’s not a major red flag).
3) Ask if he is “friends” with his ex or if she is friends with his friends and family.
Women have a tendency to think that they have to be subtle in order to not scare a man away. Guess what? If your man decides to leave you, he will leave you.
There is a huge difference between being a rebound girl and a rebound guy. Guys might even like the idea of being a rebound friend. If they are not looking for a serious relationship, they might simply enjoy a win–win situation where a girl is getting her self-esteem lifted and her time filled with sex and other “look like relationship activities.”
However, women are wired differently. Very few women are looking for casual sex and dating. Most women see dating as awful, but unfortunately a necessary process that will lead to “living happily ever after and dying on the same day holding hands.”
2) He ended a relationship a long time ago, but still really misses his ex.
3) He talks about his ex a lot.
4) He says really bad things about his ex (it’s even worse; it means that he’s been hurt and that he is not a gentleman).
5) He has pictures of his ex in his place, computer, and phone.
6) He has his ex’s belongings in his place or his car.
7) His ex is still very close with his mom, sister, or best friends.
8) He points to females on TV who are the same type as his ex.
9) Drinking and sex are the two primary activities you two do together.
10) He is not in a hurry to jump in a serious relationship any time soon because he is not ready, he wants to establish himself professionally, “it’s not you, it’s me, baby”, etc.
Remember, there are many more emotionally available men out there and you need to respect and love yourself in order to not get into the “rebound girl” trap.