If you remember your first couple of dates with your current lover, then you must have done something right; if you don’t currently have a lover, then you might be doing something wrong on those first couple dates.
When spending an evening with a person you’re interested in but don’t quite know yet, regardless of their gender, the most important thing to do is make them feel comfortable, happy, and at ease. If you’re going on a date to inspire a potential relationship with that person, then it is significant to create a positive and fun atmosphere that differs from their conventional lifestyle that is most likely filled with stress from whatever they are doing at the moment.
Dates like that will stimulate their minds into believing you are the person they need to be around in order to relax. Once you are in that part of their brain, you will remain there for as long as you keep being that highly needed escape for that person, and have a high chance of keeping them in your life.
When you appeal to the negative parts of that person by triggering bad thoughts, or asking questions that uphold stress, you are in danger of permanently being put into the wrong part of their brain; this would prevent that person from going out with you again because their body will remember that being around you did not make them happier than the rest of their life.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone is looking for perfection on the first couple of dates, and if you do happen to strike out it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it just means you might have asked the wrong questions or didn’t do anything to make yourself seem special to that particular person. Obviously you can’t do that every time, and sometimes you and that person might just be naturally incompatible; that’s why you should keep your chin up, and keep looking for that person that you will feel a spark with right away and try harder to make yourself appeal to their good sides on your first couple dates!